Finally

it was the foreboding
stillness of waking.

the dog’s yelping is an
echo subsiding in the
far spaces of memories.
the water splashing
and the pounding of clothes
acquire a strange cadence
and my mind is filled
with the vision
of old marching bands.
the wooden chimes
sing softly then lull
into deep thought,
while my eyes dart across
the familiar corners of my room —
the whirring blue
of the electric fan,
the quiet computer
tired from watching me wait,
distorted cat’s faces and cobwebs
grown accustomed
to the walls,
then resting on the green plastic
being jostled by the wind
bravely posing as the missing
window pane —

my eyes flutter
dangerously near to closing.

with a violent jerk
the sickly cheerful yellow
of sunday morning
pulled me from bed,
shouted at my mind:
wake up and know,
wake up and see
your ancient sadness
bear fruit!

dazed, steps faltering,
i furrowed my brows
and summoned all memories
and one by one
they swirled around
and began their invasion:

water unto eyes, wind unto hair,
brown of the skin, quiver of the lips,
texture for tongue, soundlessness
for ears, the tingling of skin
when in danger…

the warning
hissing in my mind
fell silent,
and i basked in the clarity
of this ancient ritual.

love was torn violently from my heart —
finally, you have left me.